Strength & courage to do what is best for us doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes we have to fake it to make it.

Day 371: It's Cool to Fake Romances

amanky / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Are you a musician or performer, but don’t think you’ve got the chops to perform on stage? Do you long to?

Then you may need to give yourself a good talking to.

Like… every single day.

Many times a day.

I’m not kidding!

“Fake it to make it” is an known axiom or catch-phrase often suggested or employed by some of our world’s most successful people: business moguls, illustrious athletes, performers, etc…

I found a pretty accurate Wikipedia page about it, which explains it as such:

Fake it ’til you make it” (also called “act as if“) is a common catchphrase that means to imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence. The purpose is to avoid getting stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy related to one’s fear of not being confident…, e.g., by thinking, “I can’t ask that girl out because she would sense my lack of confidence.” The article How You Too Can Be an Optimist in Prevention points out, “In research at Wake Forest University, for example, scientists asked a group of 50 students to act like extroverts for 15 minutes in a group discussion, even if they didn’t feel like it. The more assertive and energetic the students acted, the happier they were.”[1]

The phrase is similar to Aristotle‘s notion that acting virtuous will make one virtuous.

So, fake it ’til you make it is truly a THING. I’ve done it over the course of my life many times.

And even the most.. challenged… person can do it if they really want to.

Think of a time in your life you had to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. Maybe something as simple as the time you showed up for school for an important test when you really felt like grim death. You went, you survived… okay, maybe you didn’t conquer, but you MADE IT. Those types of choices are often the very things that can lead us from toxic and unhealthy situations into healthy, more loving (and AWESOME) choices for ourselves.

Don’t like how a romantic situation is fleshing out? Imagine what it would be like if, gee— you were actually cherished and in a mutually respectful, happy, fun,  easier situation. Fake yourself into *believing* that a beautiful scenario such as this awaits you. Tell yourself this in the mirror every single morning…. every single night. Then challenge yourself to walk away from the icky stuff “knowing” (still telling yourself) you will get what you imagine if you only respect yourself enough to do the most courageous thing.

Feel like your job is a dead end? Change it baby. Fake it to make it. Find a way to personify the person you want to be – now.

Obviously you may not really *know* in that moment you’re talking to yourself that you’ll get that situation you want by simply faking it or pretending, but let’s face it: it’s not happening on its own. It won’t happen unless you change your paradigm. YOU must shake things up in your universe. Only YOU are your own best resource in these situations. You decide how it’s going to be.

I know you’ve got this.

SO FAKE IT BABY!

ecatoncheires / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

#Healthy #Choices

Lisa Jey Davis is a former Publicist, television show production pro, and a former single mom, who pursued her dreams and somehow saw some of them actually come to pass! She is the bestselling, and three time award-winning author of Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood: My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town. Her latest little e-booklet, Five Tips for Rocking Your Hollywood Mojo, is free to new subscribers, by clicking here, or available on Amazon. She resides in Santa Monica, California with her actor husband, in a one bedroom rent-controlled apartment, 3 blocks from the sand, and savors every single moment (because, hey... rent-control by the beach). For a more detailed bio click here.