I have an announcement to make, and THIS, my friends, is MAJOR. After about seven years of fun and frolicking, M.C. Nugget and I have decided it’s time to tie the knot and continue the fun and frolicking, officially (if that’s even possible). I’m sure you’re wondering where the “bamboozle” thing comes in.
Or maybe not. Well… read on.
Though I am technically going off the market my lovey doves, this does not mean I will discontinue to reveal my secrets from the dating world. Pfff! Married people still go on dates. So, this does NOT mean things in Ms. Cheevious-land will come to a screeching halt. And considering Nuggie and I have been living together for about five years, and I’ve still been able to maintain some semblance of humor about dating, fun, life and it’s crazy moments… well there you go. I’ve bamboozled you this whole time (insert evil laugh).
This leads me to a little conversation Nuggie and I had last week. I was complaining once again about chicks (not the baby chicken variety, but CHICKS, people. WOMEN. GIRLS.). I was complaining because chicks are such high maintenance. (yes… you can tweet that if you must). It’s probably why I don’t have many female friends. They come into my life, and then seem to promptly exit when the shit gets real. I simply don’t have time for Flaky McFlakelsteins, or Neurotic McNeurotic-al-Stiltskins… and I definitely don’t have the patience for anyone who doesn’t work to change or improve their lives (and stop being loony). Plus, there is that whole “how can you soar with eagles, when you’re surrounded by turkeys” thing I like to keep in mind.
I don’t always get it, but women constantly show me just how neurotic and touchy they can be. You can’t ALWAYS blame hormones ladies! Come ON.
It’s like it’s hardwired into them to short circuit regularly. They’re just so FREAKING touchy. I am ONE OF THEM, and even I can’t figure them out! Poor GUYS! (you can tweet that one too)
BUT OH, THE BAMBOOZLE IS STRONG
So, I’d been through some sort of nonsensical dramatic discussion with a gal pal, and was whining about it (the female irony doesn’t escape me here… me, neurotically complaining about chicks and their weird neuroses), when I said:
“CHICKS!” (with a verbal eye roll)
To which Nuggie replied, “You’re preaching to the choir here.”
The rest of our little exchange went something like this (and yes… we add Star Wars references whenever possible):
Nugget: But you aren’t like other chicks, baby! That’s why we’re doing this WEDDING thing. You Bamboozled me!
Me: No… I bamboozled you for the KEY… (I was the first female to ever have a key to Nuggie’s apartment)
Nugget: Heyyyy… you’re right. Your bamboozle is strong…
Me: You mean, “The bamboozle is strong in that one?”
Nugget: Yes… but it’s “The Bamboozle is strong with that one.”
Yes, even Yoda would be amazed. And now… a wedding. And yes… pigs do fly.
(insert evil laugh)
MOM FACTOR: Sometimes moms get remarried. Luckily for me, my kids are way grown (out of high school)… but it is a factor. Be sure the kids are in good hands, see a pre-marital counselor, and let the kids do so too. Make sure everyone feels good about this decision, or don’t do it. This is my advice. Do with it what you will!
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